It was our six month anniversary. Me and my boyfriend Alex were going to celebrate big time. He said he was going to take me out for dinner and everything. I was so happy I couldn't believe it. I don't get out much as you can see. So any time I can get out of the house, it is one hell of a treat for me.

Alex picked me up at my house. I was wearing a sexy white button down dress shirt. I made sure that I had just enough buttons loose so he could see my cleavage. Alex is a breast man. He doesn't hid it one bit. He says I have a nice pair of tits. Sometimes I tell him that he would think any pair were nice, as long as they were attached to someone breathing. But, he tells me he is in love with my tits. What can a girl say? I don't understand it.

“Where are we going to eat?” I asked.

“Do you know that little place over in Rolland?” He asked.

“You mean that seafood place?” I asked back.

“Yeah, the place that advertises the best lobster in the state.” Alex said looking over at me.

“I've heard of that place.” I said.

“Have you ever been there?” He asked.

“No. I hear it is expensive.” I said back to him.

“It is, but only the best for my sweetie.” He said as he kissed me on the cheek.

Alex is such a sweet guy. Now that I am in my 40's, I don't meet guys like him anymore. All of the men are either angry or on Viagra. They are pissed off because they can't get it up and they are pissed off at their ex-wives. Luckily me and my Jim didn't have a bloody divorce. We grew apart from each other and we both knew it. Getting divorced was the best thing for both of us.

I even still talk to Jim from time to time. He has a new wife and they are really happy. Every now and then they invite me over and we watch a movie or just sit around and talk. You know, I don't know if we were ever really in love. I think maybe we were just lonely and needed someone to be around. Don't get me wrong, Jim was a good man. But, we were just different.

Alex doesn't hate his ex wife. Sometimes we go over to her house and he visits his kids. They had two lovely kids together. Alex is so proud of his kids.

“Do you like seafood?” Alex asked.

“I love it! I will eat anything they give me.” I said.

“Would you eat a pile of shit?” He said.

“You are always poking fun at me.” I said while laughing.

Alex is such a kidder. If you don't watch it, he will let loose on you every time.

“I'd eat a pile of your shit honey.” I said while kissing him on the cheek.

“We could film it and make a bundle selling it on the Internet.” Alex joked.

“You look at that stuff on the Internet?” I asked.

“No, my brother emailed me a picture of someone eating shit.” He said.

“I'm sure. You probably jack off all the time looking at that stuff.” I said while giggling.

“I can't seem to jack off while on the Internet. I haven't figured out how to use the computer with one hand.” He said back.

We were now at the place. I could tell because it looked like an old ship. There were life boats next to hit and life savers everywhere.

“So, this is the place.” I said as I got out.

“The best damn seafood in the state.” He said leading the way to the door.

When he opened the door, a gush of smells ran up my nose. It was a good smell, it wasn't the fishy smell that I had expected. We sat down in a booth that was away from everyone. Alex later told me that he called in advance to get this table.

The placed looked like a corny seafood place. I don't mean that in a bad way. There were all kinds of ocean related pictures and objects. There was even a big sand box for people to play in. I seen a few fat people in there playing in the sand. They must of had way too much to drink.

“What would you like Ma'm?” The waitress asked.

“I'll take the steamed lobster with the steamed veggies.” I said.

“And you sir?” The woman asked.

“I will have the surf and turf.” Alex said while looking down at the menu.

“Oh, and I would like to have a couple rolls with lots and lots of butter.” I said looking up at the waitress.

“I never knew you loved butter so much.” Alex said.

“I love butter on my rolls.” I joked.

“I'd like to squirt my butter on your rolls.” Alex replied.

“If you are nice to me, you will get to do even more later on.” I said.

Continue at illustratedXXXstories.com…

What a fucking day at work. You wouldn't believe all of the shit that happened. I'm a nurse in the emergency room and it was one hell of a busy day. I can't even begin to tell you how awful it was. There was an old guy that cut his hand with a knife. I don't remember how old he was, but he had to be over eighty years old. He was cutting up some onions in his kitchen and sliced his finger a good one. It was a bad cut, but it wasn't life threatening. Though, the old guy thought for sure he was going to die. He was yelling and screaming that he was going to die. I can't believe that a man his age, hasn't came to terms with death yet. A woman also came in and thought she was pregnant. Not only was she pregnant, but she was going to have the baby any time. After a checkup, it was discovered that she wasn't pregnant. We sent her up to the mental ward and everything was okay with her then. We found out that she has a history of mental illness and stuff like this isn't exactly new for her. I've never seen the woman myself, but records show she has been in the emergency room claiming to have all kinds of problems.

I went down to the cafeteria and stood in line for my lunch. My lunch break couldn't have came at a better time. If I was a smoker, I would have been chain smoking. I know I shouldn't let my job get the best of me, but I don't have much of a choice. I take my job serious and sometimes that means I end up stressed out. Some days everything goes just the way you want it. All of the patients get treated and end up being okay. Other days, it seems like you can't do nothing right. Just one death can make you feel like a miserable failure. That one death, was a loving person to someone. There might be a person without their spouse, parent, best friend, whatever. You have to deal with the fact that they died on your clock. Maybe if there was someone else there, they might have been able to save their life. I know that I do my best and rely on my training like everyone else. But, sometimes it can be very difficult to deal with.

“How are you today?” Jackie asked as we stood in line.

“What a fucking day,” I said as I shook my head from side to side.

“One of those days. I know what you mean,” Jackie said as she placed her tray up on the counter.

I looked around to see what I wanted to eat. I should say, to see what they had to eat. I ended up getting the baked cod with rice and beans. It was the first thing that caught my eye. I've learned how to stop ordering food when your gut is growling. If you don't, you will end up with ten times more food on your tray then what you need. I've been working out lately and trying to loose some weight. I don't need to be putting it back on! Not that I was fat before I went on the diet. But, I felt like if I kept going down that road, I would end up being fat. I would end up with an ass so wide, that I would have to put a bumper on it.

I got my food and I found an empty table to sit at. Jackie seen that I was sitting all alone so she came over and sat at my table. She always knows how to make me feel better. We both are into chicks, so we have that in common with each other. We also have had sex before. Sometimes we have sex in the mop closet if we don't have anything better to do. The hospital is one big orgy, all day long. There is always someone fucking. Either it will be the staff fucking the staff, or the staff fucking one of the patients. I'm not lying, it is crazy at this place. They never taught us about this in college!

“There is a cute guy on the other wing,” Jackie said as she lifted a fork to her mouth.

“What is he in for?” I asked.
“I don't remember. I think he had some kind of surgery.” Jackie said, as she paused to think.

I forgot that she works on a different floor than I do. I work in the emergency room and she works upstairs. She handles all of the people who are sick, but they can't go home yet. I see people who are either on the verge of dying or just need to be helped out. Also, we get the crazy people too. Some days it is a little mix of all of those and other days it seems like everyone is on their death beds. I don't understand it myself, but some say it depends on when the next full moon is. When the moon is full, all of the crazy people come out. Some of the nurses and doctors say they call tell when a full moon is going to take place, just by how people act. I don't know about that, I haven't put that much thought into it.

As I ate my cod fish, it made me think of one of my old girlfriends. I know that sounds hilarious, but you will understand in a minute. She used to say that she smelled like cod fish when she was on her period. Every time I eat cod fish I think about her. I see her every now and then and we send holiday cards to each other. We split up on good terms, you could say. No breakup ends in a good way, unless you hate the person you are with. I never hated her, but I really wasn't in love. I just needed someone to pay some attention to me and all that stuff. I'm sure you have dated people for the exact same reason.

“You want to join me and two other girls in on the action?” Jackie asked.

“What action?” I asked, confused what she meant.

“We are all going to fuck the guy. You know, the guy I was telling you about,” Jackie said as she watched me drink from my milk carton.

Continue at illustratedXXXstories.com…

“I am so sick and tired of weekends.” I said slamming a pillow on the couch.

“What are you talking about?” Robert asked.

“Every weekend all you do is watch sports.” I said disgusted.

“That isn't true.” Robert said as he frowned.

“Oh you're right. You also eat the food I cook you. That is all that you do.” I said in anger.

“Why are you so pissed off?” I asked.

“Don't worry about me. Go and watch your sports. Let me know who wins.” I said as I left the living room.

“You don't have to be so bitchy.” He said as I left.

I get sick and tired of this. I've been married to him for five years and it is always the same thing. On the weekends he never does anything that I want to do. The only he does is watch TV. He also eats the food I cook for him. If I am lucky, I can watch him drink beer too. Lots and lots of beer until he passes out on the couch. I can't believe that is his idea of a good weekend.

“What is wrong honey?” Robert asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Oh nothing. Just trying to figure out what you would like to eat for dinner.” ” said waving a pot in the air.

“Put the pot down. You don't want to hurt yourself.” Robert said as he backed up.

“Don't worry about me. Worry about the final score of the game. Also, worry about the cold beer in the refrigerator. Maybe you need me to get you some more?” I said like a smart ass.

“Whoa… you really are acting strange.” Robert said.

“A woman needs to get laid from time to time.” I said shaking my fist in the air.

“What are you talking about?” He asked confuses.

“You watch sports all fucking day long. All the time I am craving cock. I want cock so bad, I was going to try anal sex with you.” I said stomping my feet.

“Anal sex?” Robert said with a smile.

“Yes, anything to get you to fuck me.” I said.

Continue at illustratedXXXstories.com…

“I've never been to an amusement park.” I said to Roy as we walked through the gates.

“Let me tell you, you won't want to leave this place.” Roy said with a smile.

I couldn't believe all of the smells that I smelled when I first walked through the gate. I could smell everything from meat cooking to vegetables. It seemed like every person had a handful of food as they walked by. Some people were eating sandwiches, others were eating french fries, some were even eating what looked like a big piece of dough with sugar on it.

“What is that stuff that looks like dough with sugar on it?” I asked Roy.

“They call that fried dough. Some places also call them elephant ears.” Roy said.

“Elephant ears? That has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard!” I said laughing.

This place seemed so full of fun and I haven't even been here five minutes.

“Would you like to try an elephant ear?” Roy asked.

I looked around and saw the other people eating them. They acted like it tasted so good. I had to try one of them!

“I'd love to, but I don't think I can eat a whole one.” I said as I watched people receive the elephant ears they bought.

“That's okay. We can split one.” Roy said as he got some money out of his pocket.

As Roy got in line, I walked back over to the gate area. I didn't want to get in anyones way that wanted to buy food. Not only that, but I was afraid these people would trample over me to get to the food!

They seemed like drug addicts who needed a fix. If they are only half as good as people act they are, I'm sure my mouth will be in paradise.

I was surprised at how long it took Roy to get the elephant ear. He waited in line for at least twenty minutes, if not longer. Everyone seemed more than happy to wait that long for their elephant ear.

“Here it is.” Roy said as he walked up to me.

“How do we eat it?” I asked.

I had no idea how to eat the thing. It looked good, but it was covered in sugar.

“I will rip it in two. But, let's walk around and look at things. It needs to cool off before we can eat it.” Roy said as we walked away.

There was so much to look at, that I couldn't take in everything. There were all kinds of rides. Some went really high and made people scream. Others went really fast in circles. Everyone, even the people who were screaming out of fear looked like they were having a good time.

“I can't believe how much fun stuff there is to do here!” I said as I looked around.

“We haven't even seen half of it!” Roy said.

Continue at illustratedXXXstories.com…